Faye

I hope I will age as beautifully and as gracefully as my friend Faye. She has wrinkles and she has scars. Her marks show her many battles. The emotions of many years are painted on her face and hands. But she has an inner and beauty and peace that shines, and radiates onto all who cross her path. 

We should stop, listen, and engage with "old" people. They have abundant wisdom we can learn from. They've walked the path of life much longer than we have. They've learned through trial and error. We can learn from their mistakes, and also from their triumphs. Too few appreciate the wisdom of those with age and experience. I always gravitate towards older generations. One time, Faye said to me, smiling, "But you like old people!" It's always been true: my closest friends are 10-15 years older than me. Sometimes, people say I was born in the wrong decade! 

Faye has untold quantities of wisdom, she's lived on this earth for quite a bit longer than most of us. She will celebrate her 90th year this August. (On aging, she told me, smiling, "It's no fun, but it's okay.") I spent hours and hours with her, and I'm struggling to remember everything she told me. I carried my notebook over to her house (she lives next door to my dad and stepmomma), and wrote down what I could. She reminded me, "You can't grow in your comfort zone."  Thankfully, we both have telephones, and I do my best to reach her every couple of weeks. 

I'm thankful for Faye, and happy that our paths have intersected. I am lucky to know such an amazing woman. 

I had a conversation with my friend Jason (who recently turned 44) about learning lessons from our elders. In his neighborhood, lives a man who is 72. This man is retired, but works around the neighborhood, fixing up this, patching up that. Jason came home from work one day to discover this man painting his mailbox. He found out this man had completely replaced his rickety old mailbox with a brand new one. Every now and then Jason will carry over a beer or two to his old garage and the two of them will just talk. The world needs more people like that, those who will simply take time out of their day, and listen to those who most people forget. 

The world needs more listeners.

We are more than willing to talk, but we need to remember to pause and listen too. I think we could all stand to more consciously absorb wisdom from our elders. 

Wednesday, April 30th, 2014, Rosharon, Texas

adventure

When you set out on an adventure, you've got to be ready for an adventure. It may not be what you've imagined. Or, maybe not even close to the adventure that you see in your head. I set out on a road trip to Austin, Texas with my dad last Sunday afternoon. I think we learned a lot about ourselves and about each other. As my friend Chris says, "An adventure rarely feels like one while you are in the middle of it." It's afterward, on the other side, that you can see things for what they really are, and see the whole forest, and you can see the awesome parts of the story.

There were struggles. The trip was wrought with a couple of unexpected road blocks, that in hindsight, of course, weren't really that major. We had "discussions" and disagreements. We discovered that we may not necessarily make the best traveling companions. We get crabby and irritable when we're tired. We are a lot alike. In fact, sometimes, it seemed like we were identical. I think that's why we clashed so much. We both want the same things. I am part of him. I have many of his characteristics.

I was talking to Faye about, how, as I get older, I see more and more, that I am half of my mom and half of my dad. She said, "When you're young, you think, "I'm never going to this and such the way my parents did," and then, one day, you discover yourself doing the exact same thing." It's funny how that happens.

The trip was not dreary. Dad and I had a lot of fun, exciting times. We got to meet the famous Ronne Rock at the beautiful Oasis at Travis Lake in Lakeway. She is every bit as sweet and lovely and beautiful as I imagined. She brought a lot of peace to our day, and I am very grateful for that. She asked my dad if he was now "frolicking among the pecan trees" since he's retired. And the two of them got along splendidly, as I knew they would.

After a couple of questionable hotel options (the "unexpected road block"), we ended up at a lovely hotel in Dripping Springs, that overlooked a beautiful valley to the West, and we had an absolutely gorgeous view of the sunset from our room.

We stopped in Austin at a very intriguing antique/oddities shop on South Congress Avenue called Uncommon Objects. They had many awesome things, but for my dad and I, their prices were just too high. They gave him an RC Cola and he had one of the cashiers sign one of their business cards. He was pretty happy about that signed card.

We stopped twice in Giddings, just to take pictures of cool murals on the outside of buildings. We also spotted another antique shop in Giddings - Whistle-Stop Antiques - which dad loved. We both love scrounging around antique shops, looking for treasures, and I would have to say that's probably when we were the most at peace - when we were wandering around those little shops together.

At the Texas State Capitol, I watched my dad have a brief conversation with a squirrel and also a passing crow. He tossed a quarter at them. I'm not sure how they could have used the quarter, possibly buy nuts.

He engaged everyone he crossed paths with. Some people ignored him, but most of them would give him at least a smile and have a brief conversation with him. He moved at a very slow pace as well. I had to learn to be content with his slow meandering stroll. Watching him reminded me that I need to live more in the moment, and take the time to enjoy "this" moment... this exact moment that I'm in. It's tough sometimes. It's tough when I'm the responsible one, when I want to make sure we're not missing anything. I need to remember to pause to enjoy and truly feel the small moments too. They are important too. Because the small moments together, make the big moments. I found myself repeating over and over in my head, "Enjoy this moment."

We had a lot of good times, and a few struggles. But, if you don't walk through fire, you're going to be pretty plain. Fire and trial and adventure make you. They shape you. Your response to adversity shapes you, it builds your character. Like Faye says, "You can't grow in your comfort zone." Sometimes, I have to force myself to exist outside of my comfort zone, to explore things that are scary. I was definitely outside my comfort zone driving in Austin traffic! Outside of our comfort zone is where we grow and develop into stronger, more interesting people, instead of plain vanilla. By exploring new things, we make ourselves more interesting, and intriguing, worth knowing, worth having a conversation with.

It was a wonderful adventure, and I wouldn't change anything at all. (Except maybe the freezing cold shower on Tuesday morning.)

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014, Bastrop, Texas