We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or
strange that self may prove to be.
May Sarton
On Facebook and Instagram, I post items that are upbeat and uplifting. I intentionally do not air dirty laundry, or post negative words, or anything that may cause my friends to argue and fight. If anyone crosses certain lines I have in my head, their comments are deleted and we all move on. I strive to create a happy environment online, especially on Facebook. I rarely speak about any troubles I'm walking through, or any struggles of any kind. I rarely (if ever) tell my friends that I'm having a bad time.
But, I wonder, if in doing so, I'm really only showing a fake side of myself. Maybe I'm showing an unattainable goal. I'm creating a beautiful, picture-perfect life online, but when in reality, my life is far from perfect.
Am I being the very thing that I hate?
Where is the demarcation point?
Can I display my true reality while being both optimistic and honest? Should I?
I don't know.
We all create an image (whether consciously or subconsciously), for others to see. We create the "us" that others see.
But...
It's not truth. It's fiction.
Tightrope - Alexander Millar
I have a post I've been writing in my head over and over along the same lines... but I think maybe I have different opinions. Everyone gushes over "how real" someone was b/c they "let it all hang out" and showed the grittiest side of themselves. I'm all for not being fake, however... sometimes I think this "let it all hang out" attitude generates a lot of "laxness" in our lives, gives us a LOT of excuses to not even attempt to achieve. It also fills our social media feeds with some things I'd just rather not see - as much as it CAN be discouraging to see someone's perfect vacation, or their child over-achieving, it's so much more soul-grieving to me to constantly get bombarded with hearing about everybody's cold, flu, breakup, divorce, etc... in person, sure, but on social media - maybe not??
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to say that people should pretend life is awesome when it's not. People have bad days, we don't always do the laundry, our kids misbehave. That's real life. But piles of negativity and FB'ing every complaint and issue and grievance? That is not helping anybody grow towards being their best THEM.
I guess to me, I think some areas can still be kept private, but you are STILL genuine. There's a difference between being vulnerable when you NEED to be, and being an "open book"... ya know?
It's also about comfort levels - if you're not comfortable sharing certain things on FB or social media, that is NORMAL, not "fake"... who knows who will see it, right?
Anyway - that's my thoughts - even fiction stories don't always tell us EVERYTHING - we have to read between the lines. ;)
Thanks for a very thought-provoking blog post - sorry for the novel I'm writing here! :)
Julie, No worries. Don't apologize for writing! :) I think it's a fine line. And I wonder if we are maybe different things to different people.
DeleteGreat food for thought!
ReplyDeleteTara, Thank you for reading!
DeleteI don't know either. I think I'll be pondering the next couple days.
ReplyDeleteLaura, thank you for reading!
DeleteGreat thoughts. I think there is definitely a line, but it is possible to be open and real while at the same time avoiding pessimism and negativity. It's hard to be vulnerable, but it doesn't mean you will bring other people down by expressing your feelings or something you struggle with. I would just find someone you can trust with that, though. Good luck figuring it all out!
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's a balancing act. :)
DeleteThis is definitely something I think about a lot. I try to get a good balance between sharing what life really is like for me (as someone living with two chronic illnesses) while still being positive and hopeful.
ReplyDeleteAnastasia Rose
walk-in-the-rain-with-me.blogspot.com
Anastasia, that's a good balance. Looking forward to reading your words!
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