legacy

Whenever I have the opportunity to read a newspaper, I always read the obituaries. That may seem odd to some, but I find them to be fascinating. They cause me to reevaluate my own life and my choices so much more intensely. And to wonder, what will be written about me?

Some are laced with an undercurrent of sarcasm, "He loved music of all genres... although he could never carry a tune." Some make quiet jokes, "He accomplished much in his life, but never did learn how to tell a good joke."

Others speak kindly, "He was a kind and gentle man who was very devoted to his family... he lived his life with a gentle heart." and "She had a wonderful gift for making people feel comfortable, and had a great sense of humor."

These obituaries always make me ponder and think ever so much more about myself.  What legacy am I leaving behind? What is the mark I am leaving on earth? I used to agonize and worry that I wasn't leaving a mark, that I wasn't making an impact, that I wasn't changing anything. I felt like I should be doing something BIG and monumental.

After many conversations with people older and much wiser than I, I've finally determined that it's really not so important to leave that type of mark as I once thought. Because what really matters is people. What matters is how we make people feel, how we interact with others. Our actions are what matters. The hours of conversations, the late night messaging, the texts, the random cheerful hellos, phone calls out of the blue, the coffee dates, these are the things that really matter. These are what live on when we're gone. It isn't so much about what we do, but about what we leave in the people we touch. What we pour into them.

We won't know about most of the people affected by our interactions. It's a ripple. If I trade a smile and a lively conversation with someone, and in turn, they pass that along to someone else, there is no telling the good things that will be produced. It will keep traveling.

Maybe I will still do something big, or something monumental, or change the course of history in a wonderful and newsworthy way. But I've learned to be just fine even if I don't. If the only thing I accomplish is bring smiles and laughter to the people surrounding me, I will be completely content.

April 21, 2014, Raleigh, NC