letting go

Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful. 
-William Morris 

Last weekend, I spontaneously decided to spend a few hours cleaning out my closet. My actual closet. That's not even a metaphor. Over time, I get lazy and toss things here and there; a lot of times, it's easy to just throw things in and close the door. It's "clean and tidy" because I can't see it! As I was rummaging through everything, I realized that some things are so much easier to let go of than others. The Hurricanes shirt I never wore, the white pants that still have the tag attached (seriously, I'll never wear white pants); they are all so easy to get rid of. They have no purpose, and it's an easy decision to give them away. Those are the easy, really simple decisions. Some are more difficult. My sister and her little family were stationed on the Yokota Air Force base near Tokyo, Japan for a few years, and she bought me a shirt from the Starbucks on base. I almost got rid of that shirt. I didn't, but almost. Items with memories are more difficult to give up. But in the end, they are just things. (Lest you get the idea that I'm perfect, this really is something I need to work on, on more of a daily basis.)

Things weigh us down, they hold us captive, bound. Some things, even though they are intangible, still keep us bound, mentally, even physically. If you've seen the television show Hoarders, you've seen the downward spiral that happens when we look to things for happiness. It's so unhealthy to attribute your happiness to things. Somewhere along the line, they decided the only way that they would feel loved and complete, is if they were surrounded by things. I am far from a physiologist and I won't pretend to know the ins and outs of a hoarders brain. I do however, have experience. I can tell you that my dad has always had hoarding tendencies, and I know the cause. Since I am my father's daughter, I can sometimes see myself displaying hoarding tendencies, so I have to be careful. I try to purge (such a horrid word) things at least once or twice a year. It's healthy. I accumulate so much, but I don't toss the unnecessary things as often as I should.

The same principle can sometimes apply to people. We've got to let go of people who are unhealthy for us. We can't hold on, and keep such a death-grip onto things (or people, or situations) just because they are familiar to us. Just because it's perceived as "normal" doesn't mean it's healthy. Just because it's what's expected of you, doesn't mean you have to continue it. You've got to let go. You can walk away. And learn to be okay. Let go of that friend who mistreats you, the spouse who is abusive, your job if you're unhappy. Seek out, and cultivate, healthy relationships.

The beauty of letting go of what you don't need, means that you will make room for things and people that you do need. Maybe when you toss a shirt you didn't need, you make room for a pair of jeans you've always wanted. Maybe if you walk away from an unhealthy friendship (or even alter it), you can make way for a much better one. One of my favorite phrases is "Barn burned down, now I can see the moon." For me, this means that there's something in my life that I lost, but because it's gone, I can now see some thing I had all along, and it's better and brighter than what I had before.

Let go of all that holds you. Be free.